Poetry Commander Helmut von Fred 15% of my brain Illustration generated with ChatGPT by OpenAI, prompted and selected by Greg Conrad Smith, 2026. June 14, 2026 Commander Helmut von Fred Wore a colander upon his head. When asked, “Why a strainer On top of your brain, Sir?” “To protect my noodle,” he said. Previous Emily Blue Next Cable Monopoly Haiku